Joe Shlomo and Hippie Christ Superstar took 65 of us through the fields and streets of Huwei in our second largest hash to date, a “History Hore of Huwei” run. A drunk DDT made it through down downs with a bleeding gash in his leg. First and second timers shared drinks. Several hashers shared a birthday drink. All of those crazy Canadians drank in honor of Canada Day. The hares were called up for a good run with some questionable marking that got everybody lost. Motormouth drank for making it through 10 runs and CBB had reached 30 runs. Long Island IV was renamed Squawk.
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The army of third timers was dealt with next. Joe (BBB) was named Goutriatric since he’s old and gimpy. His lovely lady Grace (SS) was named Hat Trick to match. Anelle was named Bipolar Bear. Erica was named Potty Mouth for her many tipsy gems of verbal diarrhea. Megan was named Space Cadet for her inability to pay attention to anything on the nebulus. Wei was named Bump Set Spike. Taryn was named Tripping Pussy for her love of cats and hallucinogens. Mike was named Just Fuck You for being the internet troll that he is. Geoff was named Drunk Van Winkle for his ability to fall asleep wherever he is. Lucas was named Nice Guys Finish Last, because let’s face it, he’s an asshole. A very tardy Jeff (MSM) was named Fuck Up Train since he can’t make it to the train on time.
The hares were hauled up again for forgetting to hand out hashits. Lost and Found had the women’s hashit. She nominated : The Itch for thinking that DDT actually knew where he was going, Fuck Up Train for telling her that just because she had a dick in her hand didn’t mean she had anything legitimate to say, and Kimmy (NS) for going to bed early and still coming late. We obviously gave it to Fuck Up Train so he could feel like what he said mattered. AP had the men’s hashit. He nominated : DDT for needing to go to the hospital, FR for sitting under a tree to drink instead of starting the run, and Glad 69 for farting constantly. It went to the very bloody DDT.
We celebrated the four year anniversary of the Douliu hash with some champagne before starting general penalties. DDT gimped up to the front for making an all-natural bloody mary. We noticed that Drunk Van Winkle had lived up to his name by falling asleep just standing there, so we rewarded him with more beer. DUMF was leaving the island and requested a drink from the penis cup, which was granted. Drunk Van Winkle and Fuck Up Train shared a drink after Fuck Up Train vehemently declared, “I’m not a dick! I’m Jeff with a J!†Nice Guys Finish Last and STI were wannabe Chippendales, which led to a shirtless down down for all the flabby males on the hash. STI and DUMF shared their epic man love with the group. Bipolar Bear drank for getting hit by bird shit. First timer Dave revealed that he had a sebaceous cyst on his ass for all of the curious drunks in the crowd. Glad 69 was a husband with a healthy fear of his wife, so he needed a drink. BNJ had ridiculous hickies on his neck, which he denied while downing more beer. STI and Fuck Up Train announced that they’re going to the States to get married now that DOMA has been struck down. Lost and Found and Potty Mouth drank for giving up their own water to save Dopie.
We proceeded to invade a local restaurant accompanied by the tasty tunes of DUMF’s jambox, drinking everything in sight and terrifying the local population. On On!
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