Well, it was another zany misadventure on the Douliu Hash as our lone hare, DDT, fresh back from his Vaterland, had but two days to prepare a trail. Underestimating his own speed and that of the young runners (one of which was wearing jeans, another of which stopped to pee three times), he was caught not once, not twice, but thrice. He did, however, manage to provide us with another beautiful trail in the area of Linnei/Huben, where we were treated to spectacular bird calls and even a few monkey hoots.
[do action=”iframe”]https://www.roxysbar.com/DH3/DH3-43.html[/do]
(This map is interactive; use the controls or your mouse to zoom in and out and move around)
After having a drink for an unsuccessful but beautiful run, we did some welcome backs, which included DDT, CBB, and a few other hashers who had the temerity to leave our beautiful island, however briefly, and then return to the hash. We also had a few birthday hashers, among them CBB who turned 74 or thereabouts. He’s still alive and kicking. Let’s hope he provides us with a few more trails before he reaches retirement age.
There were three first-timers on trail: Yanik (Eunich?), Georgia, and Seb. They all enjoyed a beer and then we welcomed the second-timers up: Aaron and Craig. They are both looking forward to getting their names at the end of March. Finally, we had two third-timers. Adam, given his record of getting caught shoplifting (his dog was caught on camera, not himself, after he drunkenly forgot to pay for whiskey in his pocket along with his other groceries), and his last name being Chiapetti (sounds like Chia Pet), we decided to name him Chia Pat ’em Down, as in what the police do to you when you get arrested. Give him an ONON and a drink next time you see him. Third-timer nick, given his love of hookers and his desire to work in a zoo was given the name John Doe. May he wear it proudly. ON ON to ten runs for these new hashers.
Finally, we congratulated the three young, spry hashers who managed to run DDT down and claim a catch patch: Chia Pat ’em Down, Sheet Stain, and second-timer Adam. Great running – we look forward to some of you young, fast kids getting out and creating some great trails for the hash in the future!
Sweet Gnome of Alabama had the women’s hashit, but could only come up with two nominations. Her first nomination was for 1st-timer George, for not stocking up on beer before starting the trail and mooching off everyone else. Her second nomination was for SGT for wearing women’s sandals on trail (I maintain that this is weak – they are Huarache Sandals and I ran the entire trail in them. Buy yourself a pair here: http://xeroshoes.com/). Unable to come up with a third nomination, SGT nominated Sweet Gnome for failing to deliver. Normally, this would be a slam dunk, but the hashers seemed to enjoy SGT’s awesome sandals, so he won the women’s hashit.
Joe Shlomo, meanwhile, came up with three good nominations for the men’s hashit: DDT, for providing a weak start cooler, second-timer Craig for becoming a documentary film maker on the hash, and Crampee BuxiBum for hitting Joe after receiving some encouragement to run harder because “The young guys went that way!” Obviously, physical violence, being a favorite past time of many on the hash, won out and CBB claimed the men’s hashit for his own.
-ANNOUNCEMENTS-
Get out and find trail. The hash needs more hares. Some of you are really good runners, but you don’t need to be. Tainan, Chiayi, Douliu, Zhushan – it doesn’t matter. Get out on a scooter and find some trail. Experienced hares will help you. Alternatively, you can offer your assistance to hares any month and run along and get some experience before finding your own trail. It makes a huge difference.
The AIR hash is coming up. I need your information and money by March 30. After that, it will be too late. Name, Hash name, ID #, Nationality, Phone #, and Date of Birth + NT$800 will get you an entire day’s (and part of the night) entertainment, all you can drink, dinner, live music, and some swag. Call me or message me on facebook if you are interested. We will find transportation for you.
-GENERAL PENALTIES-
General penalties got underway with Crampee BuxiBum nominating ClamJam for messing with trail marks by wiping off the ON ON that CBB had placed on her bum. DDT, however, reckoned that was canoodling AND bad trailmarking (you never mark trail in a crack), so they both got up and had a drink. SGT then nominated CBB for bad trailmarking, as he was not signing his checks with arrows, only his initials. Details matter, kids. After that, CBB nominated John Doe and Sheet Stain for being the two front runners and not postmarking or having chalk. SGT then nominated Joe Shlomo for being the front walker and not marking the first backtrack (yes, even walkers need chalk and whistles!)
The Itch nominated someone who doesn’t exist on the hash and got herself a down down for name abuse. She then nominated Joe Shlomo for holding and petting his dog for far too long before realizing that his dog had been rolling around in dogshit. Whiskey O’Clock nominated John Doe for peeing three times on trail (at the moment of nomination he was off peeing again) and DDT, noticing that The Itch is wearing a hand brace, nominated her for being back in Taiwan, single, for about a month, and already suffering from Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. The Itch claimed it was weak because DDT obviously didn’t realize that most women use vibrators nowadays.
DDT nominated Georgia for being from “The only good southern state,” which got Sweet Gnome of Alabama to kick him. Seb was nominated for being French, and first-timer Yanik was nominated for almost getting a catch (just a few minutes too late!), and Beetle Nut Jizz got his 10-run patch. ONON to 20 runs!
There were a few hashers brought up for being quiet, several brought up for Making Room, and even more brought up for not having whistles. Sheet Stain had a drink for being sloppy and also having Shirt Stains, and DDT was nominated for gracefully leaping through the air just before getting tagged for a catch. Beetle Nut Jizz nominated everyone that “twatted their head on the bathroom door” but couldn’t name them. Since he had twatted his head on the door, he drank for it by himself.
At that point, several hashers wanted to make a Harlem Shake video, but we were all too disorganized and drunk to attempt such a thing. We cleaned up and went for a fabulous dinner at Tao Hua Yuan (桃花æº) and enjoying some of the best duck in Taiwan.
The next hash is March 30. Hares will be SGT, Joe Shlomo, and virgin hare Mother Sucker. ONON to the next run!
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