Weekend Away….. Three hares, two runs, and one very good time!
2210: “Fear Not the Kumquat” Runners 12k, Walkers 9k Strollers 6k
2211: “All for One, and One for All” (in French!) Runners, Walkers and Strollers: Shorter than the day before
2210
Hares Bored Stiff, Hairy Fucker, and Spam Jammer (rumour has it that FFF is very jealous) united the two greatest hashes on our fair island, for a couple of beautiful trails in the wilder part of Taiwan.
After a long car ride, hashers headed off up and down the mountains, passing orange trees, coffee plants and even a rare kumquat bush.
Hashers celebrated the finale of the long Saturday trail with a fancy spread of cheese, cigars, pilfered oranges, and even a bottle of wine or two.
With a large crowd of perhaps 50 or more hashers ranging from 9 months old to… however old Tuna is, our “dick”tator FFF had the difficult task of running a down down session that kept us amused without scarring the kiddies for life.
Down downs were pretty hilarious, not just because of the nominations, but also the comments from the peanut gallery (which consisted mostly of Bored stiff) and couple of poetic interludes from Spam Jammer.
Highlights included the awarding of the Women’s hashit to Absent Minded Twit for her plan to save her energy for a planned “sexy dance” class on Monday. Oral Fixation’s claim that BS looked like a pimp was countered with the idea that perhaps she was looking for a new boss. Hasher Tampon showed up completely decked out in red, with with the addition of a very red face, prompting hashers to complain that he was really in his (or someone else’s) element.
Dirty Rodriguez was excited to meet up with the women of Do Liau, but was unable to find any. It was noted that there are two women in town… I guess he needed to look a little harder. One DL hasher, Eddie, oddly turned up in a very neat mall rat get up. DL hasher IPOD came in missing a shoe…. perhaps he needs to make friends with KHHH hasher Imelda. Hairy Fucker drank for trying to book hashers into every hotel in city.
A few notable gifts were exchanged. ASS presented DL head BS with a helmet (no, not a purple one) which BS proudly wore through down downs. And The DL hash gave the KHHH it’s very own ceramic penis cup, which they were surprisingly unwilling to drink from. And LOL was given his 150 patch despite it being his 151st run. He may need to do his next run backwards!
2211
After a late night partying in up in Roxy’s bar, hashers straggled into the start, made it as far as a parking lot, and kicked around a little longer until a final car load of running drunks turned up.
A shorter trail was definatly on the menu, though what it lacked in distance, it made up for in altitude. A couple of fantastic view points puntuated the walk up and down whatever mountains we missed the day before.
Second Timer Ken made men’s nominations more interesting by calling for suggestions from the crowd after fingering Pony Express for ingnoring English signs (even when they say “Strollers only”), and ASS’s long winded attempt led to a nomination for… himself. It’s always an easy win for ASS! The sadly injured Absent Minded Twit had the hashed brutally torn from her bleeding, blistered fingers by the vicious Nipplicious, but she managed to regain it with a quick quaff, and passed it on to Loquacious Linguist, for her inexcusable behavior at (ra ra) Roxy’s bar the night before.
A man looking suspiciously like George MIcheal set off not one but two car alarms in the parking lot. After finally figuring out which car was actually his, he settled down for a few drinks rather than crash said car, or hang out creepily in the washroom. So I guess it wasn’t George Micheal after all!
BBB was called up for mysterious drinks 3 times before finally being given a 200 run patch.
ASS’s attempted compliment at the meaty-ness of Nip’s ass (meat is for men, bones are for dogs) was misquoted and misconstrued until it was decided that it meant that he had been boning dogs.
BS congratulated a couple of hs DL cronies for helping turn the “dwarf” hash until a real, thriving, throbbing, hard… whatever hash. ASS was congratulated for changing his image from a Menudo member (a la Ricky Martin) to a European Film directer, (a la Roman Polanski. Lock up your daughters!) And Anal was congratulated for not getting any bigger.
Thanks to all of the hares for a fabulous weekend away! It takes a lot of planning, so please, the next time you see Spammy, Hairy, or Bored…. Make them drink!
On on to 2112!
Nips (o)(o)
Leave a Reply