Douliu Hash #35 started off well but soon turned into a a wet, muddy downpour as hares DDT and Paddy McGroin lead us on a 7.5 km trail through woods, city, across bridges, and all parts in between for the Third Anniversary Run of the Douliu Hash. The weather cleared up towards the end and we ended up having a lovely down down in a small gazebo a few hundred meters from the start (sneaky!).
After settling in at the finish with some ice cold beers and snacks, we invited our hares up to celebrate another successful run – although the rain washed away many of the tracks and almost threatened a technical catch! As usual, we had a bevy of newbies. First timers included Lize, Daniel, and Liezel. Second timers were Becky, George, JP, and Kevin. Finally, we had three third timers. South African Angela was given the name Prickly Pair in honor of her hedgehog that crawled into the cup of her bra one day. Joanne was given the name Stuck On Top for her refusal to take her top off in SGT’s car after he got her good and liquored up after the AIR Hash. Finally, Jane, being the owner of a Buxiban that takes it’s name from dragons, we decided to go Game of Thrones on her and, since she techincally is the Mother of Dragons, we decided to call her Khaleesi. If you see these three beautiful women, be sure to congratulate them, buy them a drink, and see if you can’t get Stuck On Top to take her shirt off!
Other honors went to Lawrence Of a Labia, up from Kaohsiung, who was the Front Running Bastard. His better half, Natural Orgasm, managed to take her time, enjoy the trail, and come in Dead Fucking Last. Finally, Fucking Retard got a patch for finishing his 10th hash run in Douliu (how he survived this many, we’ll never know)!
STD, back from the dead and after having missed a year of hashes, had three nominations for the men’s hashit: Daniel, for wearing sneakers and being late (seems pretty normal), Fucking Retard (does he really need a reason?) for not running with STD, and Paddy McGroin, for being an absentee boyfriend to Lassie O’Hare and opening the door for STD (that’s a scary thought!) to assist her in…. activities. Apparently, the thought of STD and Lassie O’Hare turned most of the crowd on because PM won the vote and will carry the men’s hashit if he shows up to the next hash.
Sweet Gnome of Alabama had the women’s hashit and came up with three good nominations: 2nd timer George for his marvelous nipples, Betelnut Jizz for offering to hold SGA’s “penis” while she went to the bathroom, and Snooze Button for running on the walker’s trail. Snooze Button easily won and will NOT be carrying the women’s hashit next month as he has already left the country to go back to graduate school. We wish him well and hope to see him on trail again in the future.
-GENERAL PENALTIES-
BNJ started off by nominating SGA, getting revenge for not winning the hashit, for giving her penis away to him while she went to the bathroom. MotorMouth, meanwhile, nominated Snooze Button for intentionally and deliberately erasing the hidden turn (for shame!). Finally, Fucking Retard nominated PM and Lassie O’Hare for their adorable dog that they picked up on the way to the start and nearly adopted. In fact, Fucking Retard decided to adopt him (better check with Cunnilinguini first!), so he should have a loving home (let’s hope FR remembers to feed him)!
SGT came up with a limerick to celebrate George’s marvelous nipples. It went something like this:
George has shown us his marvelous fare
Which he obviously tends with great care
But as for me,
what I want to see,
is a quick flash from Prickly Pair.
Snooze Button got back into things by nominating Boner Bender for littering on trail. Meanwhile, Joe Shlomo nominated Snooze Button for losing the hashit AND his Douliu Hash member patch! He wasn’t the only one to lose something, however, as LOL nominated STD and Daniel for getting lost on trail and missing the backtrack. Finally, Khalari Princess nominated Joe Shlomo for whistle abuse and a whistle check was called, resulting in far too many people getting caught with no trail communication. Remember: take a whistle and chalk – communication on trail is important so that everyone can get to the finish!
Wrapping things up, Snooze Button lost the hashit again, Stuck On Top had a down down for finishing before most of the runners got in, SGT nominated FR for not being able to open the cooler on the way back from the AIR Hash, and BetelNut Jizz had another drink for kicking dirty water on the girls somewhere on trail.
Finally, to celebrate the third anniversary of the Douliu Hash, SGT came up with another limerick honoring our head and (almost) constant hare, DDT:
There once was a hare named Dick
named for his less-than-hygienic prick.
At down downs one day,
he dropped his drawers, they say
and made all the other hashers sick!
After that, we pried open the celebratory champagne and orange juice and proceeded to get a good buzz on before packing up and heading off to dinner and an on-after at Roxy’s. All in all, a great hash that would have been even better if it hadn’t been for the rain. Next hash is July 28. It should be good and hot (or wet) so come out and join us. Meet us at the Douliu Baseball field at 1:00 p.m.
ON ON to the 4th anniversary of the Douliu Hash!
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