Douliu Hash #14 (The Super Meiguanxi) was held on Saturday, September 18. The weather was surprisingly nice: partly cloudy with cool breezes; we were lucky and managed to finish the hash and the down down before the Typhoon Fanapi came in and got everything wet (Schnitzel Swallower was wet most of the day, anyway!). It was a great run of about 6km. Pretty flat with a few slight uphills, starting through farmland, heading through nearby Gukeng, and ending up at the same park where we finished Douliu Hash #6. Be sure to say thank you to both KTV and KFC for putting together a great trail!
-DOWN DOWN-
As usual, we started off with DDT inviting KFC and KTV up for a drink and congratulating them on a successful hare run. Then we had several hashers drink for having left the island since their last hash, among them 2nd timer Rune, Extra Testicle, Mexican Dope (the wetback weasel), Silvernuts, and Brussel Sprout.
Once again, interest in the Hash has been growing and we had several 1st timers join us, among them Jake (newly arrived on the island about a month ago), Neil and Ian (friends from Wales), Jean (Moaning Grinder’s little sister), Yao and Karen, friends of Mexican Dope’s (slowpoke Gonzalez), Amber (a friend of Schnitzel Swallower), and Vinnie, a friend of Schnitzel Swallower and Cunnilinguini.
2nd timers included Bun and Christa, Andy, and Rune. One more run and all of you will be blessed with your very own hash name and permanent membership in the Douliu Hash.
One third timer bravely took on the trail today. Many of us didn’t know much about Chris, but a few of us knew far too much. He was from Puzi (Poots?) and now from Tainan, originally Wisconsin. He is fairly fluent in Chinese. We also learned that he can’t handle his liquor. We were were going to go with Pussy from Poots, but One Beer Queer sounded better. However, we then learned that he once paid the same prostitute twice on the same night. Yes, he did get his money’s worth (and apparently would do it again). Once we knew that, we had go and name him Double Dicker. Be sure to congratulate him and welcome him to to the Douliu Hash!
Hashits were up next. Cunnilinguini had the women’s hashit and made 3 nominations: 1) Mexican Dope, for a trifecta of failure (eating Mosburger, showing up late, and just being Mexican, I think); 2) KTV & 3) KFC for haring a great trail. Despite the weakness of the last two, Mexican Dope (Jose Queero) handily won the nomination and shall retain the women’s hashit until next month.
Silvernuts had the men’s hashit and also put forth 3 nominations: 1) Mexican Dope & Double Dicker, for attempting to steal the hashit (aren’t they supposed to do that?); 2) KFC/KTV for not marking the roads well enough; and 3) Andy, for asking him out on a date (watch your nipples around him). Although it sounded as if Andy might win the nomination, DDT turned it around and awarded Silvernuts the men’s hashit once again.
-ANNOUNCEMENTS-
The Kaohsiung Hash is having their Family Weekend Away in Douliu November 6th and 7th. There will be a Saturday run and a Sunday run. Both trails should be spectacular and it’ll be a great chance to get to meet the Kaohsiung Hashers. You will get hash credit (Douliu? Kaohsiung? or both?) for hashing.
Our first ever Douliu H3 T-Shirts are available, thanks to the hard work of Moaning Grinder. Please see Four Stiff or DDT at Roxy’s bar if you are interested in buying one. If we run out of your size, we will order more!
Run fees will be raising. The Douliu Hash is still operating in the red, so run fees will be raised by NT$50. Men’s fees will become 350 and women’s will be 250. Please do bring change next hash when you come to pay – it makes Four Stiff’s job much easier if you give her exact change.
The Kaohsiung Hash will be having the Terry Fox Run this next Saturday, September 25th. Your NT$300 run fee will get you a great trail, NT$100 of it will go to the Formosa Cancer Foundation, and you’ll also get free Goulash and a few free drinks at the on-after. I do recommend you go. SGT hopes he will be able to attend. If he does, he can take a few people down with him.
SGT lost his t-shirt somewhere after the down-down. It’s a white shirt with a large Nike swoosh on it and the word “RUN.” If it got thrown in the back of your car or ended up in your bag by mistake, he would like it back. Please bring it to the bar or call SGT if found.
-GENERAL PENALTIES-
Cunnilinguini started off the GPs by calling out 2nd timer Rune. Apparently, Rune tried to steal the hashit and when Cunnilinguini couldn’t find it, Rune convinced her he had hidden it up his ass. It was ruled a weak nomination (indeed, if the story was true, Rune should be rewarded), and both hashers drank.
SGT called out Andy for “convoy assfuckery.” Not only was he out of gas and held up the entire convoy to fill up his tank not 2 minutes after we started driving, but he was the lead vehicle and sped through several red lights leaving the trailing cars far behind with no clue where to go.
KFC called out 1st timer Jake and Double Dicker for their excellent clothing coordination: shorts, t-shirts, hats, and sunglasses. They were both quite suave. On the flip side, SGT called out Hairy Fucker (the Irish cunt) for uncoordination and mixing his green socks with red shorts.
Rommel Router called a whistle check. Mexican Dope, Double Dicker, and Absolut had no whistles and had to drink. Next month, be prepared!
Jake had a down down for Hairy Fucker. Apparently, after only a few minutes of running, HF’s ass was already sweaty. That quickly turned into a double nomination, for why was Jake watching HF’s ass? They both drank. Fortunately, they held off their canoodling for the remainder of the hash.
Several quiet down downs were handed out, but DDT had a special down down for Motormouth, who we feared may have fossilized during the hash. Fortunately, he was quickly revived by some wonderfully refreshing Taiwan Beer and went back to saying nothing at all.
Cunnilinguini had a special down down for KFC. Pre-hash, KFC promised he would show his balls. Upon hearing that he may receive a down down, he quickly whipped a testicle out, turning Cunnilinguini’s complaint into a weak nomination. I’m sure Schnitzel Swallower has pictures.
Not many pictures from Moaning Grinder this hash, who decided to tour the nearby Honey Museum while she’s still recuperating. Schnitzel Swallower will have pictures and those will be posted asap.
Thanks all for a great hash and see you next month!
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