Douliu Hash 64 Run Report: Tryptophan Nightmares
The dynamic duo of CBB and BBB (too many B’s) successfully brought everyone out of their Thanksgiving meal coma on the road to Renyitan in Chiayi. We had three third timers: Bill, Andrew, and Jeff. Bill is a man of many talents, but we noted that he was extremely protective of his tattoo, which led to alternate routes in dealing with health concerns. He was named In Through the Anus. Andrew is known for his German ancestry and taking shits wherever he feels like. He was named Shitzkrieg. Jeff seems to have trouble staying awake, which is not surprising when you consider how much of Joe Shlomo’s meat he’s consumed. He was named Sleeping Sausage.
I Remember Wench had the women’s hashit. She nominated Sleeping Sausage for insisting on pissing in front of old ladies, second timer Daniel for leading them astray, and Joe Shlomo for running out of meat. We took pity on Sleeping Sausage and gave him the hashit. After all, if he can’t have Joe Shlomo’s meat, he might as well have something to put in his mouth, and the hashit is just the right size.
Sheetstain had the men’s hashit, but was unable to come up with any nominations. SGT took charge of the situation and remedied it by giving the hashit back to Sheetstain so that he could have a good hard think about his failure.
CBB celebrated his 10th hare run, and Glad 69 drank for completing his 20th run. The hares were called to account for sending Frozen Stiff to cock block a couple on the runner’s trail. The runners were in turn punished for being wankers who had no chalk. Red Light Groove’s shirt said that her “pussy tastes like pepsi cola,” and we were all extremely interested in determining the veracity of her claim. Sleeping Sausage was caught googling the women’s hashit on his phone in sheer confusion. All the Taiwanese hashers who chose to do the trail instead of voting shared a drink, because the hash holy day is way more important than petty things like politics. Stuck on Top and a long lost Drei Masai were obviously committed athletes in jeans and flip flops. Shut the Fedora was already napping at the start. Sheetstain was trying to relive the glory days when he was a real runner, but just used his wife to make excuses for his slowness. It turns out that Drei Masai had been gone for so long that he had forgotten his own name. Isn’t it remarkable how beer can jog your memory? I Ran From MILFs found two steps on trail when CBB said there would be no stairs. Frozen Stiff was trying to smuggle his friends across Asia while accusing people of having hangovers. Glad 69 was predictably offering kids candy on trail with no finesse whatsoever. Where is Playground Predator when you need her? I Ran From MILFs and Biohazard were a color coordinated couple. The hares were congratulated on a great trail with a nice finish. (It was a photo finish if you looked past the barbed wire.) Sheetstain tried to do something useful by hitting Red Light Groove with the hashit, which certainly garnered him more beer but little else.
The next hash will be a kebab munchin’ good time in Douliu on December 20th. On On!