DDT was a successful, if sweaty, hare in Dounan. We had three third timers. Alex was named Schtieffe Snatcher for his desperate attempts to make off with the women’s hashit. Ting Ting was named Foot Fetish due to her endless parade of fancy footwear. Joyce was named Ballsy Bitch for being both sporty and sporting enough to get that close to STD.
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Ensnatchment gave the women’s hashit to the aptly named Shtieffe Snatcher for hurting her in an attempt to grab that hallowed plastic penis. Thumb Bum served up some weak half ass nominations, so we let him keep it, which is what we suspect he really wanted in the first place.
Princess Bidet and John Doe were awarded for reaching the respectable age of 10 runs. G69 was overheard telling the newbies to load up extra beer in Whiteout’s dad’s bag. Right Kind of Wang was still asleep when CBB came to get him. BBB was waiting on the corner like a good hooker for CBB. In a moment of role reversal, she then paid him. The third timers were called up for failing to gain the upper hand in anything. Whiteout’s parents were rewarded with beer for being at the hash 17 hours after landing. Steife Snatcher spit beer on 1 Foot in the Grave. Right Kind of Wang was apparently too tired to even attempt to bust a check. Penis Fly Trap expressed her displeasure at G69’s lack of wardrobe. Ballsy Bitch was flaunting some seriously short shorts, and revealed that her yellow panties actually belong to STD. John Doe was caught asking where all the nice girls were. Ensnatchment snatched the hashit from Thumb Bum. Princess Date Rape was called up for actually managing to put clothes on. John Doe was unaware of the reason for having a whistle, but was able to rip his clothes on trail. First timer Stuart was not only boy scout ready, but appeared to us like the second coming of Christ. Shut the Fedora tried to run the hare down with his scooter, sans the requisite fedora. G69 surprised no one by floating in the river after DDT took a dump in it. BBB was a true hasher who gimped only the last 500 meters of trail. STD and Ballsy Bitch were either canoodling, or they should have been. 1 Foot in the Grave was living up to her name by giving Ensnatchment a farewell massage with her one foot. We brought beer to Joe Shlomo, who had passed out under the strain of the day’s exertions. Finally, we said goodbye to Ensnatchment, who is heading off to some Ivy League School somewhere in the nebulus.
Okay, heads up, you drunk bastards! This month’s run is a night run. If we find out that you were at the stadium in the afternoon, we will laugh at you and make you drink for it. On On!
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