Douliu Hash 52 Run Report – “SGT Gladly 69s a Virgin Princess”

SGT and virgin hares Glad 69 and Kalahari Princess took us on a whirlwind tour of Douliu for an “SGT Gladly 69s a Virgin Princess” run. The successful hares shared a drink, followed by first and second timers. We then stumbled through all 16 third timers. Ann was named Private Dancer. Daniel was named Rotten Sack. Tom was named Princess Date Rape. Bryan was named Hot Poppa. Michael was named McNarnia. Joe was named Zamboner. Dwayne was named Jackoff the Outback. Brian was named Serial Killer for obvious reasons. Dan was named Kebab Muncher. Carlene was named Colonel Clit. Kailinn was named Pieces of Pooh. Kali was named Hobbit Ho. Theresa was named Whiteout. Richard was named Sleeping Dick. Sian was named MegaPixel. Bevan was named Royal Prick.

[do action=”iframe”]https://www.roxysbar.com/DH3/DH3-52.html[/do]
(The hash map is interactive; click and drag or use your mouse to zoom in and out)

Budapoes had the men’s hashit. He nominated CBB for not giving Rotten Sack a patch, the hares for bad marking, and himself for not being able to come up with good nominations. Clearly, he still needed the hashit. Lost & Found had lost the women’s hashit. She nominated AP for his ridiculous facial hair and for being the front running bastard with no whistle or chalk, Kalahari Princess for being a worried virgin hare, and FR for his own ridiculous facial hair and for leaving Taiwan. We gave it to FR in a wave of drunken sentimentality.

The hares kicked off general penalties with their insane number of backtracks. Tintin thought Domingo was Joe Shlomo’s daughter. Tintin quickly returned for her Star Trek outfit. MegaPixel was applying lip gloss on trail. Matt was too cold to run and looked homeless. BNJ failed at basketball against 12 year olds. Glad 69 put obnoxious smiley faces on the backtracks. Joe Shlomo and Kalahari Princess ordered everyone to speak to their newly adopted puppy in Afrikaans. SGA can finally lift her armpit after 5 months. Glad 69 was racially profiling hot Poppa. Kebab Muncher pissed in some old couple’s living room. John Doe was a Calvin Klein model. HF/Irish Cunt was really in front. BBB was wearing a flak jacket. Serial Killer was discovered lurking at the edge of the group and targeting someone. L & F was directed off trail by a laborer. BB was a puritanical hasher with no time for men, so the on-on on her apron is really a backtrack. BNJ had stolen a Spongebob shirt from one of his students. DDT really wanted to say Colonel Clit. AP was holding Rotten Sack’s penis. On an exciting note, Rotten Sack’s sack may have become black enough for Whiteout. Whiteout and Sleeping Dick are happily racist. STD and Kebab Muncher are European and don’t need fucking jackets.

Next run is on December 28. On on!

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