Another hash has come and gone. We had beautiful weather, beautiful women, and lots of beautiful beers on this run. Old-timer Crampee Buxibum took virgin hare Cuntry BushWhacker under his wing for this lovely run through the outskirts of Chiayi before finishing up at a lakeside pagoda and heading off to a wonderful seafood dinner. The trail was approximately 5km and featured several tricky backtracks and about 3 checks. Despite some trailmarking that could use some marginal improvement, everyone made it to the finish (SGT even finished before all the runners! Experience wins in the end!).
Unfortunately, SGT did not get a GPS map of the trail due to technical difficulties and his own damn incompetence. Sorry ya’ll. It was a beautiful trail, and I do have the map…. I just have everything else, too. If I get some time, I’ll try to go through and edit it up a bit to make it viewable.
On to the show. CBB and CBW enjoyed a frosty beverage and each got their hare patch (#4 for CBB, #1 for CBW) to celebrate a successful hare run. As usual, there were several 1st timers on the trail, including Anna, Lucille, June, Joanne, JP, Carina, and Wen. Welcome to the hash! Hope to see you all next month!
Our second timers included James, Nicky, and Adam. I guess we didn’t disgust them the last time. ON ON to another run and getting your hash name!
Finally, we had seven first timers who needed names. Michelle was given the name “Sweet Gnome of Alabama” for her short stature and the fact that she absolutely did NOT want a name that had anything to do with Lynyrd Skynyrd or Sweet Home Alabama (the second best name was rusty bike pump). Sarah was given the name “Thai Her Up” for her athletic prowess in the ability of yoga and also because she spent a year in Thailand (we presume in schools, not whorehouses). Tarn, with her prevalence for bringing her own drinks to the down down, was entitled “Whiskey O’Clock” and, indeed, had some whiskey handy to toast her new name. John was named “AP”, which could stand for Accident Prone, Anal Penetrator, or just about anything starting with AP. His better half, Rachel, was named “Lost and Found” because she apparently likes to wander away from AP and he ends up having to track her down later. Finally, Dave and Sara were given coordinating names, so here’s hoping that they stay together forever because if they split up, it’ll totally ruin the effect and we’ll have to name them again. Dave, named after his views on male masturbation, will hence forth be known as “Scratch the Itch.” Sara, on the other hand, will simply be known as “The Itch.” If you see our third timers, be sure to congratulate them and given them an ON ON to their next hash!
DDT had the men’s hashit. Although he lost it almost immediately to Cunnilinguini, he did manage to get it back. He came up with three fine nominations, although Ensnatchment won it in the end for having her priorities straight: when offered the hashit and beer, she took the beer.
Cunnilinguini had the women’s hashit and, as if we all didn’t see it coming, Fucking Retard ended up winning the nomination for being a fucking retard.
-GENERAL PENALTIES-
CBB had a few down downs for his bad convoying and also shared some with CBW for their trail marking. We’re sure it’ll be better next time. Name abuse was running rampant after so many beers. Mexican Dope, Boner Bender, SGT, any many others were having trouble remembering to use hash names.
DDT almost had a down down for starting as a runner but skipping the runner’s trail. Although he did drink, technically, he was right: the hares only marked “runners” and “walkers”, not the required “runners only” and “walkers only.”
Some of the 1st timers got their first taste of the penis mug. I’m sure that’ll bring them back for a second run. Meanwhile, SGT had a “Doggy Style” down down for everyone that brought dogs on the trail, which included DDT & Four Stiff, Scratch The Itch & The Itch, and a few others.
Mexican Dope tried to nail SGT and DDT for nepotism, but of course was shot down. The hash is not a totalitarian dictatorship, not nepotist. Get it straight, MD!
By this time, everyone was good and liquored up. Several first timers signed up for the AIR hash (good on them!), so we cleaned up and headed over to the seafood restaurant for dinner. Some of us had an on-after at the Calgary before heading back to Douliu to have an on-after-after at Roxy’s. ON ON to next months trail on May 26!
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