It was a windy, cold day on January 15, 2011, when Hashers from Douliu, Chiayi, and Tainan met for Douliu Hash #18. Fucking Retard started things off right by showing up to the start in shorts and a Super Mario t-shirt that was too small. I’m not sure he ever realized that it was only about 12 degrees outside.
The 6 km. trail was pretty flat, but had some good variation between asphalt, fields, country, and city. As usual, here is the GPS map of the trail. Nevermind the huge clusterf*ck I made in getting lost.
We had a pleasant suprise at the down down as there was hot mulled wine awaiting everyone along with the coolers and snacks. As usual, we started off by bring our hares, DDT and iPodAlong up for a drink. This was iPod’s third hare run and he is now a Douliu Hash Qualified Hare! We hope to see him making some of his own trails soon.
A few hashers were returning to the Island: Absolut went on vacation to Bali and Mexican Dope had a brief spell in Mexico.
As with every month, we had several first timers joining us: Fucking Retard’s brother, Damian, Bisexual Boer Banger’s girlfriend, Poppy, as well as newcomer Magan and Nina, who despite having been in Douliu quite a few months, had never made a hash before.
No second timers this month, but we did have two third timers. Ryan (South Africa) was given the name Paddy McGroin. I’m not sure how or why it happened, but it did. Hugo (America) was given the name Crampee Buxibum, given that he’s old, he’s had an injury or cramp every run so far, and he owns a buxiban. If you see them, welcome them to the Douliu Hash!
Absolut had the women’s hashit (again!) and finally managed to get the hang of how it works. She came up with 3 good nominations:
- Mexican Dope – For coming late and getting lost after ducking out of the convoy and going his own way.
- First-timer Nina – For wearing bright green (new?) shoes on the hash and totally throwing her color coordination off.
- First-timer Magan – For picking fruit along the trail (we would later discover that Absolut had, herself, picked up a cucumber along the trail, possibly used it, and then got rid of it).
Magan won the nomination. She, being a first timer, was given explicit directions to hold onto the hashit and not lose it. She promptly put it in her pocket, where it was stolen 2 second later as SGT snuck up behind her.
Extra Testicle, up from Pingdong, had the men’s hashit and also came up with 3 excellent nominations:
- Fucking Retard – I’m not sure why, but just being Fucking Retard is good enough for a nomination.
- First-timer Damian – For coming injured and bandaged and limping but still managing to secure a spot next to the mulled wine.
- Schnitzel Swallower – For having a loud ass (ET had spanked her with the men’s hashit and was apparently quite pleased at the sound it made).
Schnitzel Swallower, loud ass and all, won the nomination and shall carry the men’s hashit next month. I wonder who will be spanking her until next month…
-ANNOUNCEMENTS-
Douliu HHH Shirts are still available. They are NT$350 each, all sizes, and are available at Roxy’s, just ask DDT or Four Stiff.
Cunnilinguini announced that the Tainan crowd bought a gift for the Douliu Hash – a boob cup to go along with the penis mugs. However, STD managed to forget it, so it’ll have to wait for another month to be suckled.
Roxy’s Bar has movie nights every Wednesday at 8:30. No purchase necessary to enjoy classic and cult movies.
Roxy’s Bar also has a DIY BBQ ever Sunday from 4-8. You bring your own meat, Roxy’s will provide potatoes, salad, bread, and other assorted goods.
-GENERAL PENALTIES-
Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell finally got his chance to call out Absolut for stealing that cucumber and then tossing it away. As Absolut came up for her drink, iPodAlong reprimanded her: “You don’t fucking steal cucumbers!”
ET gave a down down to DDT for having holes in his hat. DDT remarked that it was so it could double as underwear.
BBB caught Schnitzel Swallower running on trail after starting as a walker. This is something that SS has been doing quite often the past few months. Perhaps she should start taking the runner’s trail.
SGT gave a canoodling down down to iPodAlong and Crampee Buxibum, who were chatty cathies throughout the hashit nominations and announcements.
Cunnilinguini gave a down down to her worse half, Fucking Retard, for his ridiculous clothing choices on such a cold day. Quite a match, those two. One is a fucking retard, the other is fucking a retard.
Mexican Dope called out Absolut for not postmarking trail. That’s always a good nomination and something that the younger hashers need to learn and put into praxis.
Fucking Retard had a down down for Cunnilinguini (after failing to get her hash name correct twice) for promising him sex on the trail, then peeing for five minutes, and then not being in the mood. Henceforth, we shall be having blueballs down downs along with canoodling down downs.
ET was finally given his catch patch for running down DDT and iPod on Run #10.
Finally, Schnitzel Swallower had the last of the down downs for having a bit wet spot on her ass. Glances were cast around at who was the lucky one that had gotten a bite.
After that, we stayed around a while, enjoying some drinks, before cleaning up and heading off to dinner at Chao Dai and then an on-after at Roxy’s. ON ON until next month!
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