It was a glorious day for Douliu Hash #11, marking the 1-Year Anniversary of hashing in Douliu. The weather was beautiful, offering the hashers wonderful scenic views of Douliu and surroundings. One could even catch a glimpse of the ocean off in the distance from certain points.
The build-up was marred, however, by several shenanigans before we could even get to the starting point. First, first-timer Zoe forgot to put gasoline in her car, so the convoy had to wait for her to catch up. Then Outback Mountaineer didn’t have gas. After stopping at one station, he proudly proclaimed that the nozzle was too big for his VW and we would have to stop somewhere else. After stopping for a a second time, both Brussel Sprout and third-timer Santi joined him in filling up their tanks. Let us hope our hashers are more experienced and prepared for the next hash.
The trail was mostly asphalt with a few checks and backtracks on lesser-traveled roads. We started in the vicinity of Pingding village and walked through the forest until reaching a temple where we held the down down. The trail was approximately 7.6 kilometers.
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For a better view, look at this link – you can zoom in on google earth and see the details.
The hares, DDT and third-timer Jayson, finished in 1 hour. The fastest runners finished at around 1:20-1:30, and SGT, taking a shortcut down a hillside, finished just after Hairy Fucker at 1:23.
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We had a five first-timers on the trail today. A small naming committee of SGT, Hairy Fucker, Silvernuts, KFC, Outback Mountaineer, and Absolut took charge of coming up with names while DDT was doing a car run.
Third-timer Lacey was given the name “Page 3 Princess” after it was revealed she enjoyed going topless around the house.
Brenda was given the Douliu Hash name “New Sexual Partner.” Apparently, on a trip to Kenting, she introduced Jose as “my new sexual partner” and it seemed to be a pretty good hash name for her.
Jayson, one of our hares on this great trail, was given the name “Bush-Diving Boer” after Miche let slip that he loved to perform cunnilingus. Ok, I made that up. Miche told us that “he loves to get drunk and go bush-diving” which made us all thing of cunnilingus, but it was revealed that she was speaking about actual shrubberies. Given his love for the wilderness and his agricultural ancestry, Bush-Diving Boer seemed a good fit for him.
Miche was named “Tittie Tonic” since she loves drinking Gin & Tonic and Spic Too Quick would not stop talking about how big her bosoms were. In honor of her ample breasts and her love of mixed drinks, Tittie Tonic shall henceforth be her name on the Douliu Hash.
Which brings us to Santi. This was a difficult decision. We ran the usual gamut of Run for the Border, Run for the Hash. SGT suggested “Diego Marijuana” but it never really took off. Finally, since we all agreed that Santi is rather forgetful, we went with the name Mexican Dope, which has a nice double entrendre too it. Apologies that it’s not dirtier/raunchier.
The down down commenced with DDT and Bush-Diving Boer sharing a drink for a successful Hare run. 2nd-timer Sara was given the ladies hashit. Her nominees were Mark, for wearing sandals on the trail; Jay, for wearing a skirt (which turned out not to be a skirt); and Roxy (not the dog) for wearing an Ed Hardy shirt. Jay easily won with her skirt that was not a skirt and was told to keep the ladies hashit somewhere safe, warm, and disease free.
Spic Too Quick had the men’s hashit. He nominated Tittie Tonic, probably because he was fixated on her large breasts; Page 3 Princess because he wanted to see her drink; and New Sexual Partner because he also wanted to see her drink. New Sexual Partner won the vote and downed her beverage with gusto.
GENERAL PENALTIES
DDT called out Extra Testical and Magical Mastiffbater for arriving in a car to the down down after wandering off trail and getting lost.
Mexican Dope called Hairy Fucker for several offenses, which included a bad trail, which was Mexican Dope’s own fault for following the ShortCutting Bastard. He also called out Hairy Fucker for “making us all healthy” which his extra running on an already long trail.
Kakacito gave a down down to Brussel Sprout for being “too quiet because he is missing Emma.”
Nuke and Mrs. Nuke from the Taiwan Bear Hash were our special guests of honor on the trail today. Nuke had several All-Island Run shirts left over and auctioned them off in a beer drinking contest. Santi, ET, and Magical Mastiffbater won with her beer-quaffing skills.
FFF from the Kaohsiung Hash sent a long-distance down down to DDT to celebrate the Douliu Hash 1-Year Anniversary Run.
Several down downs were giving for “canoodling” while general penalties were ongoing.
Spic Too Quick and first-timer Mark shared a down down for having tiny nipples.
SGT had one of the better down downs when he called out Tittie Tonic and Zoe, not for anything in particular, just because he wanted to see them double-team the penis cup. DDT was more than willing to help them…
Unfortunately, we also had several Farewell Down Downs as several of our hashers will be moving on from Douliu. Outback Mountaineer, Kakamama, and Kakacito will be moving back to Australia. We wish them the best and will certainly miss them. Page 3 Princess is moving to Florida and shall no longer be joining us. Finally, Spic Too Quick has gone back to Spain, leaving New Sexual Partner in search of a new sexual partner.
The down down wrapped up and we went for an outstanding Spanish dinner at The Moor restaurant. Several speeches commemorating those leaving and celebrating DDT and the Douliu Hash 1-Year Anniversary were given. It was certainly a night filled with happiness, but tinged with a hint of sadness at our coming losses.
Thanks again to DDT for bring us 1 year of awesome trails in Douliu. Be sure to stop by and tell him and Four Stiff thank you for all the work they do to get the hash ready each month and make sure we can enjoy the countryside and have a good time.
Finally, we give our best wishes to Outback Mountaineer, Kakamama, and Kakacito. They will be leaving next week, so if you see them wish them the best and buy them a drink.
All photos from the Hash can be see in the gallery here.
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